Lean In

Lean In is written by the COO of Facebook. That in itself was incentive for me to read this book.  I had also heard her talk in an interview with I think Oprah and I found her fascinating. 

I grew up in a very traditional household.  My Mom was a stay at home Mom until I think I was in fourth or fifth grade and then she went back to work part time.  I say she went back to work but really she just found something to occupy her time while we were in school because she was I guess feeling restless and bored.  My Mom had been an assistant buyer for ladies lingerie at Gimbel’s New York until she stopped working when she had me. I have no doubt she would have been promoted to buyer but as Sandberg says in her book, she began to lean back when she got pregnant and then stepped out of the work force. 

Growing up I was a little mad at my Mom.  She was awesome with people and could have been anything she wanted.  We use to tease her that she could take over for Bella Abzug when she retired because my Mom had very strong political views. For those of you who are not from New York, Bella Abzug was a member of the House of Representatives and a very strong activist on civil rights.  My Mom also would have made a wonderful elementary school teacher because she was great with kids. 

There are three points made in the book: 1) sit at the table ( sit with the players not on the fringe.  Be confident.  Women underestimate their capability) 2) Make your partner a real partner.  (there is a lower divorce rate when tasks and responsibilities for family and home are closer to 50/50) 3) Don't leave before you leave (Stay fully engaged in your profession.  If you are going to have a family don't leave until you have the child.  Some woman check out when they start planning to have a family and so they miss opportunities)

 Now back to why I was a little mad. I always felt my Mom would never lean. Even though she had the talent she didn't really pursue them.  Yes I get it, it was different times but I still think she could have done it. I decided I would Lean In for both of us. And I tried and I was right there for a long time but much to my dismay I found at times that I leaned back as well.  Looking back if I could do it all again, I think I would always sit at the table and lean in more.  The good news is that life is a work in progress and I am trying harder to lean in, learn constantly and stay engaged.

I hope my daughter decides to lean in but I am not sure.  I hope that ultimately she will find the confidence to do what she needs to do. A very brief synopsis of what is in Sandberg's book is in a TED talk.  The link is included in this post.  Take a few minutes to listen to the Talk and then read the book. Really read the book!

Ted talk by Sheryl Sandberg http://www.ted.com/talks/sheryl_sandberg_why_we_have_too_few_women_leaders.html