Days I loved You Most

This book explores the complexities of a long marriage. I found it totally relatable since I have been married for forty-two years.

Set in New England in the summer of 1941, Evelyn and Joseph first fall in love.  More than sixty years later they gather their three adult children together to tell them staggering news.  Evelyn has received a heartbreaking diagnosis, and Joseph does not want to live without her.  Together they decide to live their lives as fully as possible for one final year and then end their lives on their terms.

Their decision sends shockwaves through their children's lives, each dealing with the situation differently. Neff captures the emotions the children share like heartache, disbelief and anger.

She also does an outstanding job of portraying the ebb and flow of the couple's long marriage.   She clearly writes about the ups and downs of a long-standing marriage. In addition, I love how she takes us through what is to be their last year and how they make every effort to reconnect with their children.

Even after reading the book, I struggle to reconcile with Joseph's decision to end his own life. He deserves to live and have a presence in his family's life. Yes, losing a loved one is devastating, and yes grief can last a lifetime. 

I understand that Joseph’s identity is deeply entwined with Evelyn’s. He’s spent his entire adult life by her side, and the thought of continuing without her feels unbearable. But he’s a strong character. I want him to give himself a chance—to try to build a life beyond her. If he would consider that possibility, I think I could understand his choice more fully.

One thing this book made me ask is: How can I live more fully? How can I engage more deeply with my own life? For me, it’s not about checking items off a bucket list. In fact, I don’t have a bucket list—and I don’t want one.

Instead, I want to live as authentically as possible and be truly present. Now that I’m no longer working five days a week, I’ve added so many new things to my life—activities that bring joy, connection, and creativity. I’m learning to find a better balance between the time I work and the time I don’t. That balance was missing before, and I’m grateful to be discovering it now.

 

good Read - the Grey Wolf

 

I like reading books written by authors outside of the United States. They allow me to experience the life and culture of another country, all from the comfort of my home.   Lousie Penny has written a series of books that I absolutely love.  My favorites take place in a little town just outside of Montreal called Three Pines. You likely won’t find it on a map—perhaps because it exists only in Louise Penny’s imagination. The characters of Three Pines are wonderfully unique and delightfully eccentric, making it such a joy to read about them. In fact, I feel as though I’ve come to know them personally. I love reading about each and every one of them. With each new book, I get to discover all the changes they have experienced since the last book.

Back in September 2016, Penny lost her husband. She entered a period of deep sadness where she seriously contemplated giving up writing.  Sadly, several of my friends have suffered the loss of their husband and soulmate.  Even though I have suffered the loss of good friends and family, I cannot begin to know what it feels like to lose your partner in life.  

During the pandemic, I suffered a loss and stopped writing my blog. It was just a small blog on books I had read.  I had a few dedicated followers, and I thank them.  I have started writing again and I find it very cathartic.  I still share books I have read because I am frequently asked to recommend a book, but my focus has changed a bit. I find writing and sharing to be very personally fulfilling. Find your way back.

Good News for Louise Penny fans like me. She has written her 20th novel due out in October 2025.  I can't wait. And one last thing, if you write, if you paint, if you knit, if you sew, if you have done anything that gives you pleasure and stopped, find your way back.

If you have never read a Louise Penny book or have only read her more current ones, consider going back to the beginning and read Still Life. This is the first of her Three Pines series, and you get a real sense of her characters.

If you are interested, you can find her current book on Amazon. The Grey Wolf by Louise Penny